I feel again like I need to get my health in order, among other things. I sit around a lot, feeling like I deserve free time to do nothing, but I should be using my time more effectively. I’ve been trying for the last couple of weeks to make more time for myself, but I haven’t been doing it very well. This time for myself should be at least partially used to make myself healthier. No question I have to lose weight and eat better. If I took an hour a day and focused on those two things it would be a tremendous help. I’m pretty sure I can dedicate two hours a day to that.
I told a friend today that I felt like I was having a bunch of little epiphanies leading up to something. I told her it was an interesting conundrum. After she sweated me for using big boy words like that, I tried to wonder where this thing I’m feeling was leading, and I have no earthly idea. My mind isn’t racing. There’s a lot going on that keeps my attention but it’s not going a million miles a minute. I can take a moment and focus on a thought and move on. I’m not sitting on it, which is unusual for me, or at least it used to be. For as long as I can remember I’ve been very introspective, but now it’s almost like I control it instead of the other way around, and being in control of anything these days makes me feel better.
In a way, I am controlling my emotions as well. I don’t have an unrealistic view of myself, and that makes things much easier. Part of that leads back to my first point in this post. The rest of that isn’t anything I’m going to share with you. This post is purposely vague. I’m still protecting myself.