I don’t know.
It’s like my eyes are being pulled into my head while a frying pan is simultaneously smacking my brain. It’s strain and pain and frustration and irritation and it just doesn’t. Fucking. Go. Away. It’s meds that mess with me so I change them and the new ones bring a whole new level of medieval on my ass.
Worrying about my kids and money and house and trips and my health and my job and did I fuck up when I rejected an escrow account and the mortgage is only nine days late. It’s I just got home and I’m hungry and I should be outside with the boys but all I want to do is lie on the couch and close my eyes and bask in the silence.
It’s having to walk through a supernova of flourescent lights to get to the john because design quality moved next to us a year ago. A 30-inch LCD that has the brightness turned down to a point where shadows are all I work with and holy crap that helped a little bit.
It’s the break from all that that cool breezes and warm fresh air provide.
It’s the fact that the cool breezes and warm fresh air didn’t help at all at last night’s tee ball game.
It’s that sleep is my only respite and jobs and money and house and kids and cats and plastic keep me from enjoying it as much as I can.
It’s that I can’t fucking do the things I enjoy doing every day.
It’s that my doctor hasn’t called me back.
I don’t know.
Dude.
Sleep in Preston’s room for a few nights.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:13 amCall the Dr. back again.
Quit worrying about money
(Why are you worrying about the trip?)
And why are you worrying about the kids? They are awesome.
You’ll be fine. I promise.
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a-doo-doo-doo, a-daa-daa-daa is all i want to say to you.
actually, that’s not true. there are billion million pieces of bullshittery and platitudes to be doled out, but the truth is that it’s all very different when it’s YOU and YOUR stuff going on inside.
i get it.
try not to worry. @pgoodness is on the case.
xoxo
June 10th, 2009 at 1:45 pmQuote
I am so gonna kick your pain’s ass. Or, um, send you lots of love and good vibes and such until it goes away.
If I were closer, I’d totally bear hug you and give you some magical hilarity that is me when I’m trying to cheer up someone I love.
Listen to your wife, she knows what she’s doing.
xoxo
June 10th, 2009 at 2:22 pmT
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I know I haven’t been around…nor do I know all that is going on. But. Be well, friend.
June 13th, 2009 at 6:57 pmQuote
I get it. The meds? They suck when they aren’t working right. Plowing through it is where we test ourselves. I’ve failed many times.
July 7th, 2009 at 11:59 amQuote