I write here because it gets my feelings down on paper, so to speak. It allows me to express my deepest sadness in a way that I can’t seem to do on a whim. The thoughts fill me, and if they don’t come out here, they don’t come out anywhere. That’s just how it is.
I get compliments on my writing ability. I feel good about how I can convey to all of you exactly what I’m feeling, and when I go back and re-read what I’ve written, it’s perfect. It’s almost always perfect.
But it all comes from a very bad place in my heart, and that talent is gone when I’m in a good place. I don’t wanna spend any more time in that bad place. I don’t want to find good in that bad place. I want to get away from it all.
Technology has shrunk the world for us, and there’s a lot of bad in that, too. I want the world to be bigger. I want to find things with my eyes and my feet. I want to know what you’re doing when I get there. So I have to leave here. I don’t for how long, but it could be forever.
The world needs to be bigger, because it keeps shrinking and closing in on me, and I can barely breathe.
I thank you all.