Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

A New Beginning

February 11, 2020 in Brain Dumps,Writing | Comments (0)

It’s certainly been a long time since I’ve written anything here. It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything anywhere, for that matter. Little beyond a relatively long-winded Facebook post or a journal I started that has accumulated a total of two entries. I suppose I could glean a sense of calm and contentment in my life based on this, but I’m afraid that would be far from the truth. 

My life is as chaotic as it was years ago when I last published anything here, but from somewhat different sources. Grief from losing my first wife will never go away, but it has taken a backseat to the challenge of making a blended family work. Honestly, it’s more about finding my way in a blended family. Any contribution I have in making it work hasn’t made its way up the list as of yet. This is what I must figure out.

Intimate conversations have left me with a plea to begin therapy again, and it isn’t something I look forward to doing. I feel I’ve exhausted my time with my last therapist, whose guidance in moving forward from my wife’s death was life-saving. I don’t know if she’s right for me to become a better partner or parent, though. I feel like a fresh start might be the way to go. It’s a tab that has stayed open in my mind for several days.

A big part of all this is that my depression is at times debilitating again, and it is affecting those around me. It affects my work and family and my health, without doubt. Speaking of work, I have lofty goals for my office, but I’m scared to move forward with any of them. I never feel I have the financial security to do any of it, but all the numbers suggest otherwise. Slowly I’ve been reaching my less costly goals, and that is encouraging, but I need to do more. Anxiety and depression don’t allow it. 

One of the things I’d like to do is start a blog for my business. There are times when I feel I write well and there are many more times where I think I write terribly. I don’t read enough and I don’t write enough. Phenom’s World can help me with the writing part, with no niche or direction in mind. Just write — one sentence a day at a minimum. I can spend more time with a dedicated office blog on that site while I continue to try and get better here. 

Depression, work, family. That’s on my mind every day. Baseball season is near, and pitchers and catchers reported today. I’m trying to learn how to play the guitar, too. I imagine there will be plenty of topics to practice here. I have a lot off things to learn to do better.

Just write

February 24, 2014 in Writing | Comments (0)

Write every day. It doesn’t matter what you write about or how awful it is. It doesn’t matter if you are in the zone or in left field. Just write, and do it every single day.

I’ll admit that I’ve been hesitant to write here lately. The reasons aren’t important right now, but after a few days and conversations with friends I’m back in the right frame of mind. So I’ll write some more.

I don’t know what will come of it or what I will talk about, but the therapeutic outlet it gives me is nothing I can walk away from easily. I’ve simply adjusted my sails and have become more mindful of the effect my writing may have on others. I like to share my life with all of you and will continue to do so, and it will probably be easier and more introspective now, and yet more controlled.

I’m still the same old me, and I hope you look forward to reading more from me. I hope to do it every day, no matter the quality of the content. I enjoy having you read along, but I don’t write for anyone but me. I’m excited to get rolling again.

Protected Posts

June 23, 2013 in Writing | Comments (1)

This post is just to let you know that there will likely be protected or private posts in the future.  I want to do some journaling, but I don’t want everyone to see it.  The reasons for this are not important to anyone but me. If you see a post that you can’t read, it’s likely protected.  You’re welcome to ask me to read it, but I may not allow you.  It’s nothing personal.

Write every day

January 1, 2013 in Writing | Comments (1)

I’m still one to make New Year’s Resolutions, and like just about everyone I know, I never follow through on them.  I’ve resolved to lose weight and get in better shape for probably each of the last 15 years, and this year is no different.  Again I think I’m going to get up at 4:15 tomorrow and get on the treadmill and eat a good breakfast and be at work by 6:15.

Getting healthier gets more important every year, and now that I’m 40 I feel I need to finally grow up and get it done.  2012 did nothing to improve my health, as I exercised maybe ten times and continued to sit in front of a computer for 8+ hours a day for my job, and then again for a couple hours a night after work.  If I sprinted to the mailbox and back I’d be wiped out for hours.  I used to be an athlete.  I played sports regularly and was in relatively good shape, but since we had kids I’ve been lazy.

Anyway, that’s all excuses.  I hope I don’t use them anymore.

Other than exercise, a resolution I made for 2013 is to write much more regularly, and I plan to write every single day.  I’m not often inspired to write, but I think I should continue to write if I want to be better at it.  It may be here on this site, which I’ve cleared just for this purpose, or it might be privately via journaling on my own or even screenwriting.  Please don’t dump me if something I write is crappy, because I just want to practice, for the most part.  To be honest, I don’t really expect anyone to keep along with me.  That’s not what this resolution is about.  I’m happy if you’re along at some point, though.  So this is today’s writing.